Friday, November 15, 2013
Just Being Honest
Sometimes I wonder if I'm overreacting. The answer, is probably yes. I really have a hard time getting over my anger about Cam's arm. I may have written this before but it's so hard. Every time we go to Dr. Grossman it is a reminder of what we are dealing with. Yes, she is doing better but she will never be 100%. That bothers me as a mom. She will always have issues with her left arm. Even now at 18 months old she has to wear a night brace, will she have to wear a brace for the rest of her life? I have no clue.When I think of her future I get mad. I start thinking about all the limitations she may or may not have. I know to some people it's just an arm, but there is just so much more to it for me. There's the fact that she may never have a perfect ballerina stance because he arm won't allow it. Or when she's wearing a tank top her shoulder blade may stick out. I know these things seem minimal to some but not to me. Not to me who expected everything was going to be fine throughout her entire pregnancy.
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I am 38 years old and have erbs. I can say that even though the movement in my right arm is limited, there really isn't a lot that I haven't been able to accomplish physically, even though it's often awkward. My barriers have by far been more mental, with a lack of support and acknowledgement as a child from my parents. I have 3 beautiful healthy children, and I say that if you give the most support and love and acknowledgement that some times she may not be able to do something, she will be happy. Don't treat her as though she is the same as everybody else. This is what my parents did, and I've spent my entire life comparing myself to my normal sisters when in reality , I couldn't physically achieve all they had.
ReplyDeletemy son is 7 months old and i am ok with him and his arm but it is still upsetting to know it didnt have to be this way! im glad i am not the only one that cant let it go sometimes. Love your blog!
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