Thursday, October 24, 2013
Having Another
I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I think I'm ready for more. Right now the answer is no. When we had Camryn we weren't expecting what happened and what should have been an enjoyable time for us turned into a very stressful time. It didn't feel like having one child it felt like having multiple children. We were thrown into doctors appointments, therapy, surgeries, procedures and tests. I spent her entire first year working with her intensely at home to get her to improve as much as I could. It encompassed my entire life, some may say how unhealthy this is but how could I not. She was my daughter and she couldn't do it herself at that point. I only want the best for her, meaning the best doctors, specialists, and of course the same opportunities that children her age should have. At this point I think to myself, would it be fair to have another child when I give much of my attention to Camryn and her recuperation? Not right now is the answer, it wouldn't be fair to another child. I want to have to time to finally enjoy Camryn.
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If I may say something... what you write makes a lot of sense. I went through the same pain and it's not over of course. I reduced my hrs at work by 50% and my husband did the same to make sure Brian had the daily stimulation he needs. He had a surgery 1 month ago and it is going to be difficult to rehabilitate his arm after the cast comes off. We are having a baby in March and we decided to have a baby because we can't simply wait for the right time. We cannot wait because it will never come. But there is something I want to share with you: I believe I should give my child an ordinary life and his little brother or sister will enrich his life more than what we are doing with pt, special toys and stimulation. I am scared too but I also know God will look after our family.
ReplyDeleteCarly,
ReplyDeleteNot only you and your husband deserve the joy of another child, so does Camryn. The time will come when you feel you're ready to fairly share your love and energy. Everybody accommodates to new situations and you will welcome the possibility of offering Camryn the role of the big sister and you will see how love multiples as the family grows. More often than not, we need to give in to our hearts and stop being so rational and analytical about deeper things in life. I know, easier said than done. Somehow, things fall into place. In life, unlike school, we seem to take tests before somebody teaches us. You are a great mom!! Camryn is fortunate to have you!